Bayonetta Review Through The Ages

1960’s – late 1970’s

Bayonetta 2 is too violent for me.  It breaks my chakra man.  I really dig the spiritual depictions but I can’t get past the executions.  Too many trees were harmed in the making of this game for me to give it a passing score.  The only redeeming factor is how in tune she is with her own sexuality.  This is a chic that knows what she wants.  Sadly, it’s not enough to save this game. 1 out of 2 (peace fingers)

Also.. What is video game?  Pass the hash…

1980’s – late 1990’s

Bayonetta 2 feels like a refinement of what was already an amazing game experience, risen to a level not thought possible by the Wii U hardware.  The mechanics are incredibly tight and the frame rate is smooth as butter.  I can’t help but draw attention to the music that seemed almost in a choreographed ballet with the motion on the screen.  The action is swift and deadly, and every punch and kick feels powerful as you shatter their armor and weaken their defense.

The Wii U’s power really shines when the magic system comes into play.  The entire screen is filled with a montage of explosive action, calling out beasts that look like they’ve spawned straight from Hell itself.  I might even dare to say that it’s better than the arcade cabinet edition if my childhood heart wouldn’t break upon admitting it.  The game looks fantastic with very little slow down, if ever.

This game may be action packed and fun, but it’s not for every gamer.  A reminder to the parents out there, this game may be on a Nintendo console but it is rated M for a reason.  The over-the-top sexual caricature you play is an overtone throughout the game.  Bayonetta is a real kick-ass and take-names type of gal who is always in control, even when the villain thinks they’ve got her cornered.  Her dominant and confident attitude is reflected in the awesome powers she wields throughout the game.

If I have to say anything bad about this game, its that the none stop action can be overwhelming at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  • graphics    – 9/10
  • sound         – 9/10
  • replay         – 8/10
  • fun factor – 10/10
  • overall        – 9/10


Bayonetta 2 is a glaring example of what is wrong with everything in the world.  This game makes me as angry as getting a plain mocha latte when I explicitly asked for fat-free soy, no whip.  I mean, look at those cut scenes.  How many crotch angled camera’s does one game need?

It’s this kind of idolization of the human figure that is ruining video games; and I’m also unhappy with myself but I’m not getting into that right now.  It had nothing to do with mankind idolizing strength and form throughout all of our natural existence.  It has nothing to do with Bayonetta being a caricature of a dominatrix; an overtly sexual and dominate female who consistently rubs her stiletto heals into men’s back sides.  And I’m going to prove that with this video game review!

This is only helping to instill the over-sexualization of women and objectify their personal space as well as other words in a sentence.  The game is actually kind of fun, but that’s all I’m going to say about it because I can’t get past exactly why my loins are tingling.  This makes me uncomfortable because the 1950s were a tough time for women; you know before video games and I feel strongly about that.

I just can’t believe this kind of stuff is still being put out there in front of our children (rated M).  I don’t have any kids of my own yet, but if I did, I can’t believe we are exposing them to this kind of blatant misogynistic filth that shouldn’t have the right to exist!  7/10…


Memes, Internet, and Gamergate

My mind has really been racing this week… And it’s only Tuesday.  I feel like my anxiety is especially peaked and the reasons are many…

I had to get on a plane earlier this week which already made me anxious to leave my family, even if only for a day or two.  While I sat in the terminal, waiting for my plane to arrive, I made the stupid mistake of checking Twitter.  On it was another scrolling list of retweets that cataloged yet another Gamergate incident.  I guess you could say I’d had enough.  I blew up a little on Twitter.

too old

WTF does any of that mean, right?!  Well, read on…

I feel like I’ve been very patient with this fight and I’ve tolerated the constant back and forth.  I’ve even dared to stick my neck out a few times to ask everyone to calm down.  I’ve pleaded journalists to be patient and listen to the ones who are trying to voice their legitimate concerns while avoiding the landmines.  I admit that it was a tall request but it was at least a journey worth venturing.  I’ve been openly against the stupid doxxing, hacking, and harassment of journalists; or anyone for that matter.  There are easier ways to deal with people you don’t agree with.  I think the handful of people exiling journalists need to stop because they are damaging the Gamergate and NotYourShield message and it isn’t helping anyone.  I’ve tried to be a level head in a situation where both sides are clearly far too deep in the brush, but it seems like nothing has come of Gamergate.  It’s just two sides shoving the others’ nose in their own waste.

You see…  What really set me off was that article.  It was yet another click bait article who’s soul purpose was to stick a giant middle finger up to anyone who thought Intel was within their rights to spend their own money as they see fit.  It wasn’t an article written to update readers on the progress of the accusations against Gamergate, it was just an attempt to shove their nose it the mess they made to show that Intel was not 100% behind everyone in the Gamergate movement.  Frankly, even Intel’s message was a clear indication that they also had no clue what they were dealing with.  Honestly if Intel was my company I would have pulled out as well.  Who wants to even be in the splash zone of this mess; press vs. the people?  I’d run like hell, and hide on safer sites until the coast is clear.  Intel has a reputation and shareholders to answer to.  It’s not their job to pick sides in a fight that is frankly not their own.

Then, along with that “update” article was a sarcastic tweet about, “we’re still doing it”, as if journalists are entitled to ad support regardless of the content they publish.  And above ALL else; answer me this one question.  What did this article serve to get us even a half step closer to a resolution?  The answer is none.  It was just making piggy faces from across the school yard saying, “nah, nah.   You can’t get me!”

I guess you could say that I had an epiphany, a moment of clarity perhaps.  I was getting too old for this shit…  I mean; we have 30-something year old, college educated, grown ass men and women yelling into a void called Gamergate.  Journalists are trying desperately to make sense of something that has no head, no tail, no body and yet it bares fangs.  What games journalism is experiencing is a very adult issue and it needs to be handled as such.  A simple “return fire” will solve nothing.

I wonder if the best response was to assume I was pro harassment and sexism...
I wonder if the best response was to assume I was pro harassment and sexism…


With so few journalists and so many gamers, journalists need to start thinking less like another gamer in the crowd and more like a person in a position of power as they are.  A politician does not run through the streets, getting into fist fights over foreign policy; he campaigns his opinion to reach supporters in a manner that is as respectful as can be.  He may want to run into the streets and punch someone in the mouth but he knows better, and so should we.  Gamergate is not one person, it is virtual nation of people spanning the global and no two people feel exactly the same.  I can’t stress this enough…  Journalists need to treat these sensitive matters like national policies, not school yard brawls.

The discussion(?) went on for quite a few more tweets between Patrick Klepek (a host at Giant Bomb) and myself, though he faded off of the conversation not long after this comment.  The entire time I was having a calm conversation with him I could sense the agitation on his side.  He was clearly having a fight with me that I was not having with him, he was continuing an argument that I had no part in.  Half the time I was talking about journalist I wasn’t even talking about him; I honestly kind of forgot he was a journalist as well.  Suddenly this was personal to him while I was simply saying that journalists can not express strong targeted opinions at a broad group and expect a positive reaction.  You don’t insult someone for the way they dress then ask them to buy you dinner…

So what happened?  Twitter happened.  Part of the problem is the need to compress data on the web.  I’m sure I said some things to Patrick that weren’t nearly as bad as he probably assumed them to be.  I’m sure he’s a nice guy and I’ve never really had any severely opposing opinion to his own.  I just can’t take it anymore.  I’m tired of the fighting.  I’m tired of no one swallowing their pride, stepping down, coming to an understanding.  I’m tired of people who claim to be Gamergate who are doing pointless things to damage the name.  I’m tired of journalists who can’t get off their horse for 5 minutes to stop writing, “gamers are over” articles and realize what they are doing to their reputation and their own kind as people who just want to play games.  I’m tired of the harassment when all people need to do is STOP CLICKING ON CLICK BAIT and the problem will resolve itself.  I’m tired of not being able to even talk about it to a journalist without having to step around a metric ton of baggage acquired over these past weeks.  I’m tired of watching threads read on about, “who’s more right”.  I don’t care, I just don’t care.

I’ve already purged a large shard of the people I once followed.  I may follow them again in the future but for now my Twitter feed is quiet again.  I might have made some enemies because I refuse to feel pity for a journalist biting the hand that feeds her but her problems are not mine and they shouldn’t be yours.  I might have made some enemies because I think that Gamergate would do more good through peaceful campaign than gorilla warfare but I don’t care.  Everyone needs to reevaluate or you’ll be stuck circling that track forever, all of you.

The past is in the past.  You can sit and be bitter about it, let it haunt you, or move  on.  Words were said and they won’t be taken back, so everyone just needs to live with that…

As for me?  I’m going to play some games now.  And when an article pops up with an author I don’t agree with I’ll just skip over it because I’d rather be reading text in an RPG than giving my clicks to someone I don’t support…  I’ve already taken several game sites off of my rotation.  I am 4 days Gamergate sober and loving every minute of it…


Can We All Get Along?

Who is WWW?

The Internet is getting pretty old these days, not just in the content that is has been delivering but in the real years.  The Internet is a graying 45 years old but his son, World Wide Web, is only 25.  You see WWW is the Internet as most of us may know it.  This 25 year old, over confident, sideways hat wearing, pain in our back side is barely out of college and still working his way into a stable career.   WWW is still hanging out frequently with his college friends, sifting through his epic porn collection, drinking beers and playing Madden after his job at the tech support call center. Continue reading

I’m Reaching My Limit

For quite a while now I’ve felt like video games are as much an art form as a billboard on the side of the road.  The answer depends on how you feel about billboards.  Free-2-Play is really taking off and not showing signs of slowing down.  In that hit-driven lottery, the science going into monetization is getting downright scary.  Thank goodness for indie games… Thank goodness for…  Nintendo?! Continue reading

We Are All Famous

Celebrity refers to popular fame and public attention in the media, usually applied to a person, or group of people (celebrity couple, family etc.), or occasionally, to animals or fictional entities. Celebrity status is often associated with wealth (commonly referred to as fame and fortune) and fame can often provide opportunities to make money. Continue reading

Pipeline Problems

Converting 3D assets from a cryptic bag of variable length indexes normally found in modeling packages into a streamlined collection of high performance vertex buffers has been around as long as 3D gaming has existed.  The format in which data is stored in these packages seldom represent how we need to structure them for efficient rendering. Continue reading

The Cost of Isolation

Welcome, and follow me to the slow decent into career purgatory.

Over 3 years ago I took a huge gamble, I made a big change in my life.  I convinced my employer to allow me to work remote, and uprooted what was the majority of my life in Florida to North Carolina.  What is more important than the move however is perhaps the aftermath of that move. Continue reading

Codemonkey | Author | Cool Dad (certified)