Bayonetta Review Through The Ages

1960’s – late 1970’s

Bayonetta 2 is too violent for me.  It breaks my chakra man.  I really dig the spiritual depictions but I can’t get past the executions.  Too many trees were harmed in the making of this game for me to give it a passing score.  The only redeeming factor is how in tune she is with her own sexuality.  This is a chic that knows what she wants.  Sadly, it’s not enough to save this game. 1 out of 2 (peace fingers)

Also.. What is video game?  Pass the hash…

1980’s – late 1990’s

Bayonetta 2 feels like a refinement of what was already an amazing game experience, risen to a level not thought possible by the Wii U hardware.  The mechanics are incredibly tight and the frame rate is smooth as butter.  I can’t help but draw attention to the music that seemed almost in a choreographed ballet with the motion on the screen.  The action is swift and deadly, and every punch and kick feels powerful as you shatter their armor and weaken their defense.

The Wii U’s power really shines when the magic system comes into play.  The entire screen is filled with a montage of explosive action, calling out beasts that look like they’ve spawned straight from Hell itself.  I might even dare to say that it’s better than the arcade cabinet edition if my childhood heart wouldn’t break upon admitting it.  The game looks fantastic with very little slow down, if ever.

This game may be action packed and fun, but it’s not for every gamer.  A reminder to the parents out there, this game may be on a Nintendo console but it is rated M for a reason.  The over-the-top sexual caricature you play is an overtone throughout the game.  Bayonetta is a real kick-ass and take-names type of gal who is always in control, even when the villain thinks they’ve got her cornered.  Her dominant and confident attitude is reflected in the awesome powers she wields throughout the game.

If I have to say anything bad about this game, its that the none stop action can be overwhelming at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  • graphics    – 9/10
  • sound         – 9/10
  • replay         – 8/10
  • fun factor – 10/10
  • overall        – 9/10

2000’s

Bayonetta 2 is a glaring example of what is wrong with everything in the world.  This game makes me as angry as getting a plain mocha latte when I explicitly asked for fat-free soy, no whip.  I mean, look at those cut scenes.  How many crotch angled camera’s does one game need?

It’s this kind of idolization of the human figure that is ruining video games; and I’m also unhappy with myself but I’m not getting into that right now.  It had nothing to do with mankind idolizing strength and form throughout all of our natural existence.  It has nothing to do with Bayonetta being a caricature of a dominatrix; an overtly sexual and dominate female who consistently rubs her stiletto heals into men’s back sides.  And I’m going to prove that with this video game review!

This is only helping to instill the over-sexualization of women and objectify their personal space as well as other words in a sentence.  The game is actually kind of fun, but that’s all I’m going to say about it because I can’t get past exactly why my loins are tingling.  This makes me uncomfortable because the 1950s were a tough time for women; you know before video games and I feel strongly about that.

I just can’t believe this kind of stuff is still being put out there in front of our children (rated M).  I don’t have any kids of my own yet, but if I did, I can’t believe we are exposing them to this kind of blatant misogynistic filth that shouldn’t have the right to exist!  7/10…

 

Memes, Internet, and Gamergate

My mind has really been racing this week… And it’s only Tuesday.  I feel like my anxiety is especially peaked and the reasons are many…

I had to get on a plane earlier this week which already made me anxious to leave my family, even if only for a day or two.  While I sat in the terminal, waiting for my plane to arrive, I made the stupid mistake of checking Twitter.  On it was another scrolling list of retweets that cataloged yet another Gamergate incident.  I guess you could say I’d had enough.  I blew up a little on Twitter. Continue reading

Can We All Get Along?

Who is WWW?

The Internet is getting pretty old these days, not just in the content that is has been delivering but in the real years.  The Internet is a graying 45 years old but his son, World Wide Web, is only 25.  You see WWW is the Internet as most of us may know it.  This 25 year old, over confident, sideways hat wearing, pain in our back side is barely out of college and still working his way into a stable career.   WWW is still hanging out frequently with his college friends, sifting through his epic porn collection, drinking beers and playing Madden after his job at the tech support call center. Continue reading

I’m Reaching My Limit

For quite a while now I’ve felt like video games are as much an art form as a billboard on the side of the road.  The answer depends on how you feel about billboards.  Free-2-Play is really taking off and not showing signs of slowing down.  In that hit-driven lottery, the science going into monetization is getting downright scary.  Thank goodness for indie games… Thank goodness for…  Nintendo?! Continue reading

We Are All Famous

Celebrity refers to popular fame and public attention in the media, usually applied to a person, or group of people (celebrity couple, family etc.), or occasionally, to animals or fictional entities. Celebrity status is often associated with wealth (commonly referred to as fame and fortune) and fame can often provide opportunities to make money. Continue reading

Pipeline Problems

Converting 3D assets from a cryptic bag of variable length indexes normally found in modeling packages into a streamlined collection of high performance vertex buffers has been around as long as 3D gaming has existed.  The format in which data is stored in these packages seldom represent how we need to structure them for efficient rendering. Continue reading

The Cost of Isolation

Welcome, and follow me to the slow decent into career purgatory.

Over 3 years ago I took a huge gamble, I made a big change in my life.  I convinced my employer to allow me to work remote, and uprooted what was the majority of my life in Florida to North Carolina.  What is more important than the move however is perhaps the aftermath of that move. Continue reading

Codemonkey | Author | Cool Dad (certified)