in Politics

What Would Jesus Do?

Given the recent obsession with “Radical [insert faith here] Terror” I guess it’s official now. You gotta call it like it is under this new leadership. Radical Christian Terror is alive and well.  It was the cause for the shooting in Quebec.
Dear Republican Party, make up your mind and stop politicizing faith like it’s a box to check on the election campaign. This is the party of “small government, no taxes, big enterprise, don’t tread on me”, unless it’s about an unborn child. If there’s an unborn child, we are getting all up in there. Of course once the child is born you are on your own because we don’t support social services or Entitlements. We are pro-life, unless you are already alive; in which case you should die if you can’t afford to feed yourself. We hate taxes, but use 50% of it for this awesome military we keep wanting to grow bigger, because we are pacifists. We desperately need their votes but we also hate old people because they are sucking up our profits with each living breathe, unless they are veterans, then we only mildly care about them.
We also like paved roads and bridges and walls on our borders and schools and libraries for our children but don’t want to actually pay for any of it. Maybe Mexico can help with that. We wrack up the national debt term after term and then raise hell when the other party does the same. We consistently wrap ourselves in the flag and burn the constitution with every bill we try to pass to ban free-will or basic human rights. We suppress and manipulate the voting process because it’s what Jesus would do, and it’s easier to gerrymander than to be the voice of the people. We believe that corporations should have more rights than the people who work in them, but we do it for the “jobs”. Everyone knows when you give all of the money to the rich people that they are compelled to shower those below them for their efforts… After 30+ years of trickle down economics however, there’s only so many times you can hear, “the check is in the mail.”.
As “conservatives” we don’t condone violence, because that’s what the bible says, unless of course someone is blocking your oil pipeline. If they are blocking your pipeline you can beat that ass and falsify their arrest records; it’s in the bible. It’s a top priority to stop other immigrants from meeting us immigrants in this nation of immigrants; for… safety.. Unless you are a Native American, at which point we question how the hell we haven’t killed you yet and proceed to ignore any treaties we may have signed.
We ask that our President privatize national lands so that we can rip down the last of our mountains for an ounce of gold. We don’t believe in science out of fear that science might someday disprove our faith, so we instead choose to ignore that our planet is dying. It’s safer to call science a Liberal conspiracy than understand the basics of mathematics. Maybe our thoughts and prayers will fix it so we don’t actually need to act on anything.
We speak of righteousness like it’s a girl-scout badge we earned once, and not something we need to do every waking day. We talk about the darkness within the Muslim belief, as if no one read the bible. We like to gloss over the parts in the bible about dragging women into the streets to stone them to death, but you know, we are all pure and stuff…
To the conservative party, put the crazy down for 5 minutes and think about what you’ve done these past 30 or so years. If the party is going to support all of those things I mentioned, own it. Stop hiding behind the bible and own it.
Jesus was a socialist immigrant from the middle east, not the whitewashed capitalist proliferated through European paintings. I realize that 98% of the people I know are probably nodding their heads; but to the 2% who are still here, please be rational and call out your “conservative” Congressmen and women for misrepresenting the faith if that is something that is deeply important to you. Do not vote for someone in spite of all of these paradoxical beliefs because they are in your party, vote for them because it is what you support. Because when you vote for a “conservative” that is okay with internment camps and religious registries and torture and racism, it’s not about faith or politics or party lines anymore, that’s just who you are. Do your homework everyone..
What would Jesus do?